Whenever there occurs a
discussion on Nairs, the matriarchy and the form of marriage prevalent among
them during the yesteryears are often ridiculed. The latest in the row is the row over the
remarks of an IPS officer during a discussion on dominant caste, exemplifying
the Nairs, during an interaction with students.
While seeing the video, Mr. Sreejith’s demeanour seemed to be an
overflow of his casteist pride though the conversation could be part of his
discussion on the topic.
However, this is being used, as
always, to denigrate the community by pelting on the ‘sambandham’ and the
matriarchy. These systems of marriage
and hereditary rights were not devoid of demerits; the first and foremost being
the absence of a family consisting of a father, mother and children. However, one cannot negate the freedom
enjoyed by the Nair women (and the others who had identical or similar
practices) in comparison to women of other communities.
The property rights enjoyed by
Nair women are incomparable, though not absolute. These women had the privilege, though
limited, of choosing or to ‘abandon’ their consorts though there were incidents
of exploitations being a feudal society.
There is a reluctance to admit the fact that there existed a more
liberal society than the present, in terms of conjugal freedom. Polygamy was a norm in many societies but even
now eye brows are raised when there is a mention of polyandry.
The unavoidable migration of women
in the wake of marriages is a topic of discussion. However, in matriarchy, the women had the
privilege to live their entire life in their ancestral homes. On a personal
note, my grandmother had lived (and she never stayed even for one day in her ‘sasuraal’)
and my mother and sister live in their own ancestral homes; thanks to the
practice.
The women of affluent families
(not only women) did not hesitate to venture into English education from the
initial period of its introduction mainly because of the liberal attitude. This
was followed by Nair women from ordinary families as well which paved the way
for the presence of Nair women in every walk of life – be it public service,
politics, art etc.-from the very beginning.
Many women could migrate to other states and other countries in search
of job and education.
There are families with
illustrious female members in the female-line of heredity from the different
fields which can be attributed to the matriarchy and the resultant freedom: Anakkara Vadakkathu family (A V Kuttimalu
Amma, Ammu Swaminathan, Captain Lakshmi, Mrinalini Sarabhai, Subhashini Ali,
Mallika Sarabhai), Prof. Karthyayani Amma-Prof. B Hridaya Kumari- B Sugatha
Kumari- Prof. B Sujatha Devi, Lalitha-Padmini-Ragini- Ambika Sukumaran Nair,Sukumari.
On a lighter note: No widowhood;
no ‘satis’. No vermilions; no sacral ‘mangalsutras’. No nuptial knots; no ‘saat pheras’. No vows; No Karva Chauths – essentially a
contract. Glorious past for the women
before the new ‘refined’ customs crept in.
